(Note: I’ll admit it. This is a post from a previous blog I had. I decided it needed to be re-published, as it’s a favorite of mine. And so true.)
It’s hard to find anyone in the office lately. No sooner does one person come back from vacation than another one is heading off on his or her vacation. I’ve had other single women invite me to travel with them on tours or cruises, but I always decline.
It’s not that I’m anti-social, it’s just that I’ve learned my lesson. Sadly, I’m not a fast learner, so I’ve taken enough bad vacations that I could write a book.
(Hey! Wait a minute! i have an idea for a book!)
I have three favorite kinds of vacations:
- I say at home and visit local shops and museums.
- I visit friends for no more than 3 nights, usually 2.
- I pick a place I’d like to visit and travel alone or with my faithful dog.
Solo travel is my preferred way to vacation. I’ve traveled with people before and had an absolutely terrible time. Sadly, I’m a slow learner so I’ve had too many terrible vacations. Even sadder, all these stories are true.
1. Hold the Ice
I and a (former) friend and our two dogs are on vacation right after Christmas. We check into a pet-friendly hotel and she immediately fills the ice bucket with water and sets it down on the floor for her dog to use as a water bowl.
I’m horrified. “What in the world are you doing?” I asked.
“Oh, they just throw these out when they clean the rooms,” she said.
“No, they don’t! Why do you think they leave a little plastic bag to use as a liner? Gawd! I’ll never use an ice bucket again.”
“Oh, chill out.”
“I didn’t care for the Grand Canyon.”
3. As We are Seated at a Lovely Paris Restaurant for a Pre-Paid 5-Course Dinner:
“I don’t know what any of these items on the menu are. Would you like to share a salad?”
4. After Being Dragged All Over Austin, Texas to See Old Missions I’d Never Heard Of:
Me: “These were all very interesting. I hope we’re going to see the Alamo, too.
He: “Oh, no. That one is too touristy.”
Me: But we’re tourists and I’d like to see it.”
He: There’s a more interesting mission about two miles from here.”
5. On Being Offered a Free Round-Trip Ticket to San Francisco for the Weekend
“What would we do in San Francisco?”
6. After Being Told it is Customary to Tip the Tour Guides in Europe
“Well, I’m not tipping her.”
7. After Checking Into the Hotel Following a Long Flight
“I sure hope I brought enough enemas with me.”
8. On Being Told the Price of Admission to See the Coliseum in Rome
“I’m not paying all that money just to see some old stuff.”
9. After Being Told That I Managed to Add a Weekend in London for Less Money Than the Direct Flight to Nice
“What would we do in London?”
10. After Learning That the Snow Storm Had Canceled All Flights Out of New York for a Day and She Might Have to Actually Pay for a Night in the Hotel by Herself
“Gosh, until this happened to me, I never fully realized what those poor people in New Orleans went through after Hurricane Katrina.”