Before I started working, my friend’s mother told me to always be sure to carry a pen and paper with me when I was in the office. “It makes you look like you are paying attention,” she said.
I’ve followed her advice for many years. I depend on my pen and paper to get me through these meetings — not because I need to take notes, but because I need to doodle and vent my frustration with this incredible weekly waste of time.
Highlights from today’s hour-long meeting:
- Debby, our bookkeeper and lover of all things feline and Disney, brought in her new calendar for 2015. We suspended the meeting to look at it and discovered that it features kittens. We all make the appropriate ooh-ing sounds.
For the record, I like cats. I just don’t see why we have to devote meeting time to paging through the calendar to see the especially cute calico kitty for October.
Fifteen minutes lost.
- Joe, our manager, brings up a touchy subject. We need to cut back office expenses. He suggests cutting out the truly awful coffee in the lunch room, which is free and appropriately priced. Since I don’t drink the coffee anyway, I don’t have a dog in this fight, so I sit back to listen. The pro-coffee coalition is adamant: they want their coffee!! The discussion turns to the over-sugared packets of hot chocolate. Can we stop providing these for free? Hot
sugarchocolate drinkers are not so vocal, apparently. This may be a weaker link to attack. Still, objections are voiced.While the discussion heats up, I look around the room and try to estimate the annual salary for each of us sitting around the conference table. What would the average hourly salary be? I come up with a conservative number: $52.00/hr. There are 20 of us in this meeting, which means we’ve just wasted $1040.00 salary to sit in the meeting.
I think we can afford the hot chocolate and even upgrade the coffee as well.
The discussion drones on. We are tabling the discussion until next week. 45 minutes lost.
- The hour’s up. Meeting’s over. Back to what passes for work around here.