A salute to retail clerks


Wow. It’s hard to believe it was only 2 1/2 months ago that the stores told me it was Christmas Shopping Season!

Maybe it was the Halloween candy still very much for sale, but I didn’t immediately hop over Halloween, skip right past Thanksgiving, and jump into the Christmas shopping spirit.

Now that Christmas is–finally–just a few days away, I’d like to give a shout out and express my sympathies to all the retail sales clerks for all they have to endure: long hours, bad schedules, low pay, and demanding customers.

(On a somewhat brighter note, this is the one area where Americans come together, regardless of income or education, for a rude, ignorant jerk is a rude, ignorant jerk be they making fools of themselves at Tiffany’s or Walmart.)

Working in retail, you are required to assume the attitude of someone in a carnival dunking booth: no one facing you especially cares if you go down or not. They just want to convince themselves that they are not victims. Just be patient and keep a stack of clean towels at hand.

Even though they are jerks, you cannot let on that you know this. You can only be polite, give them whatever you can, and schedule a day off on December 26th, when all the recipients of said gifts flock to your store to return everything–some of it not even your merchandise.

So as Christmas approaches, I just want to say Thank You for all the hours on your feet. We’ve never met, which is a shame because I am a stellar, undemanding customer! You would love me and post pictures of me on your cash registers.

Unfortunately, we probably won’t meet because I do all my shopping online. Not to brag, but Ann Taylor is my new BFF. She e-mails me several times a day.

Enjoy your day off.


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